Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Stubborn Boys: Please No Potty, Mommy (part 1)

So this is actually an entry I began scribbling away one early morning after a night of frequent feedings by Braylon, but never got around to transferring onto my site. Things have changed since, but I'll write it up anyhow... and perhaps get around to adding the changes later, since in all of 8 minutes I need to leave for yoga (and trust me, after this blog, you'll see why I need to have some me time).

I'll spare you from reading further if you're reading this for a happy-go-lucky entry... Perhaps next time. Not that my boys aren't great boys, but parenting has as of late had rough patches. Pardon me, but I find ranting helps, so bear with me if you're along for the ride. Here goes.

These are small things in the big picture, I know. That I'd like to acknowledge first. And I've always been told not to sweat the small stuff, but I must. Sometimes I feel like I'm not a good mom in ways, as I seem to fall short (no pun intended, if you know how vertically challenged I am) of helping my children overcome certain feats - namely, weaning for Braylon and potty training for Isaiah.

We'll take Isaiah first. For months now, we've been trying to potty train him. He is old enough. He knows what we're asking of him. He fully comprehends what we want him to do. And yet I am met with this stubborn defiance that I can't seem to get around. I've given in to the reward system - of stickers, that is. I've a hard time succumbing to giving treats of any sort, though I now understand those that do. To each their own, though I'd like to think I don't need to follow a Pavlov's dog regime. Regardless, we're not making headway. Not in the least. I ended up giving stickers for just sitting on the potty, so I gave up on that (need to save my sticker reserve for school, anyhow). And he hasn't actually gone in months. So scrap that. He preferred to put the stickers on his hand anyway, rather than the nice chart that we posted in the bathroom for all to view and praise. And what gets me is that he cheers for us when we go, clapping and saying "yeah mommy" whenever we show him how to do it. But he still won't go. I seriously congratulate all moms who get through this stage - what an accomplishment, for real. I myself have no clue when this is going to happen. He is not too young, that I believe, but I'm having a very tough time with this. Stick it out, I know.

Okay, yoga calls so part 2: The Battle of the Bottle will get posted later. Stay tuned... it's juicy (or rather, not... instead, it's actually kind of painful...).


Anonymous said...

One piece of advice, although I know it's annoying when people give it. LOL
If he isn't willing to do it, you can't make him. It's the one thing that they have complete control over. I promise you, you will look back on it when it's done, and you'll realize that once they decide to do it it's quick. Just wait. Tell him the potty is there for him if he wants it, but that it's up to him if he wants to be a big boy and use it. Then let it go. He might not decide to use it for months, but trust me that you'll be fighting with him until it's his idea. It's absolutely no reflection on your parenting. It's Isaiah's way of exerting his independance. It's actually a sign that you've allowed him to think for himself, and that's a great thing. :) I know that was long winded, but honestly I just look back on any potty battles I had, and have learned that no matter what I did it didn't change the outcome. He'll do it. I promise!!

Anonymous said...

hear you. hear you . hear you. I remember thinking exactly the same the heck do other mothers do this??? And as annoying as she sounds (LOL!!!) Jen is right. She told me the same thing and I was like..ya right. uh huh. your kids are different than mine. BUT low and behold...he went on his own time.

and boys DO take longer than girls, not that that is anything you want to hear!! but thats why I think Ashy was so easy. Gabe was ridiculously hard to train. and I gave up. THEN he started !!!

Good luck Nat!!

Kelly said...

I have no advice to give as I have never encountered this phase of parenthood. But I do know by seeing you in action, you are a great mom, so don't second guess your mothering skills! Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Children are designed to make all moms second guess themselves. You are a wonderful mom!! Braylon will drink from a bottle and both boys will eventually go "potty". These moments, although stressful at this time, will be a blip in your memory. Use your yoga. Breathe through. XO