Monday, October 25, 2010

Life After Love: Five Months Later

Okay, so many of you are likely wondering how we're doing, five months into this new life. I've had a great deal on my plate, and still do, and there have been countless times I've wanted to blog to vent my frustrations especially. But I have decided I'd like to keep this as positive as possible, because that is what I need right now. Particularly right now.

Things are crazy busy at work, as is to be imagined. The move has really only shortened my drive by 10 minutes, so I am on the road for nearly 2 hours/day. Time with the boys becomes a priority in the evenings, so I am behind... but I don't really care. I care about getting myself and my boys through this.

Although I have no clue what the other side will look like, or whether or not I'll know I'm there. This is my life, my reality, I'm living now. Maybe it will always be this way. Who knows? I hate to think I'm going to feel this lonely all my life, feel this great void. I hate to think that maybe, just maybe, my husband didn't love me all along, and that I had a false conception of love as a result. Possible.

There are definitely highs and lows, and as of Saturday things have hit another low... so it's difficult to stay positive. Perhaps I shouldn't have chosen this moment to blog an update, especially as I feel the invasive eyes of my student teacher looking over my shoulder from the table behind me. So... I'll blog later, when I have time!! Haha, that's a joke!!

Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive...