Leave of Absence

Well, I did it. I applied for, and received permission to take, a leave of absence from work. Granted it doesn't take effect until September 2013, but it's the best I can do. And despite some griping from my husband - who thinks I rarely work as is, since I've been off on back-to-back-to-back mat leaves, basically - it's the best solution for us. (By the way, I'll leave that well enough alone for now, since most of you who read my blog fully know just what being a SAHM entails. It's not as if we sit around all day with our feet up doing absolutely nothing.)

So I am getting a full year off... in 4 years' time!!! I'll be off the year Braylon is in SK and Caleb in JK, which means I will be able to be home with them each on their days off (assuming Strathroy - if we even live here still - does not yet get full time kindergarden programming by then, which may be the case... either way, I'm off!). I'll be able to take all of my kids to school, participate in their school activities (fields trips and such), and not have the overwhelming responsibilities that come with my job, for once. (Can you tell I'm already dreading returning in September? How will I possibly plan lessons and mark for 3 courses, commute 2+ hours daily, and take care of 3 kids? With Greg on 2 weeks of afternoons every two weeks too? Argghh, can you sense the stress?)

It's definitely a financial concern, though, because I'll be taking a pay reduction in order to be "paid" the year I don't work. And considering I haven't received full pay for a full year since 2005, I'm not sure how this will pan out. I suppose, in a way, we've been living off a reduced rate since Isaiah was born, so I'm used to budgeting with financial constraints. However, we're sick of living so tight, and taking this extra year off means tying into four more years of doing so.

But I truly feel it is what is best. I'll hopefully finally be able to take courses to better myself as an educator that year as well, not to mention move up the grid. And I'll be less restricted time-wise for travelling, so should Greg manage to get full time at Toyota by then, and therefore be given holiday allowance, we could take a vacation outside of prime time. That would be nice! And best of all, did I mention, I'll be home with my kids! WOO HOO!! Honestly, I really wish I could stay at home with them to be their primary caregiver from now until that point. I know it's not feasible, as in my career giving up my position means giving up teaching entirely, really. Quitting in my board - even with the intent to return at some point - is quitting for life; there are far too many others chomping at the bait to take your spot. In many ways it is a downside of teaching (and I don't mean to gripe about the disadvantages of my job, as I know there are many perks as well, such as our summer holidays and fabulous pension plan). But it's true, it's not just some job I can leave for a few years and pick back up, maybe just somewhere else... it doesn't work that way. Which is in large part why we chose for me not to consider dropping to part time either, as it may be years before I receive my full time entitlement again (not to mention commuting to Woodstock to teach 66% with no guarantee my lines would be am or pm sounded slightly ridiculous anyhow). And as transferring closer has been unsuccessful thus far in my 6 years of employment, I resolve to accept the fact that, for now, I'm meant to teach at WCI.

And so that's what the future seems to hold. We've no clue where we'll be... Greg would move in a heartbeat to Woodstock, but it's me that is holding back (not that I'm tied to Strathroy, by any means, I'm just not sold on Woodstock). But I know I'll be home with my boys, which is time I'll never get back, so I'm glad to be spending it with my boys rather than at work (even though I actually do like my job!). Already the time has flown by - they grow up so fast...

Not Enough Hours in the Day

So there are definitely not enough hours in my day lately. I am finding it difficult to keep up with blogging, obviously, but it's also just so darn busy with three boys so close in age. Don't get me wrong, I love being home, but it's a challenge to find time to devote to each of them. And sometimes my parenting is far from ideal.

But I do like that, now that we've "sprung forward" there is more daylight... and add in the mild weather we've been having, and at least we're taking advantage of what hours we do have in the day to spend them outside. We've been out for walks, and playing with the ride-on toys.

I am, however, finding it difficult to spend an hour of each day doing my workouts, though three weeks in and I'm still keeping up with them. Despite returning to both skating and yoga this winter, my post pregnancy body the third go has really struggled to find a shape anywhere near what I'd like. So I've been doing the P90X workout since the beginning of March. I'm trying to stick with it, even though there are parts I really don't like. We'll see how quickly results come!

Anyhow, a bit of an update...

Well, the boys are growing quickly. It's amazing, really. Their personalities are really starting to emerge, especially in Caleb and Braylon. Braylon is incredibly "strong-willed"! He is much different than Isaiah ever was at this age. He is certainly goofy, very active and loves to be physical, especially rough housing with Isaiah. His words have been coming along, with sentences developing and vocal responses becoming more sophisticated.

Isaiah is finally fully potty trained. He had a severe aversion to pooping in the potty, which we finally conquered a few weeks ago. And he tends to keep his nighttime diapers dry if I get him to pee just before falling asleep. I'm hesitant to take it away because I'd rather not deal with a wet mattress!

Caleb is, although no longer sleeping through the night, growing and changing daily. He really wants to get moving, but he hates tummy time so crawling is nowhere in sight. He's a good eater so far, though there are veggies he'd rather I not serve him! I think he's going to be much like Isaiah, although he loves both of his brothers.

Anyhow, the boys aren't letting me write much without distraction - the colouring at the desk beside me has already gone awry - so I'd best sign off for today. I will one day write more... there are actually a few things to catch you up on!

Life is Too Short

It is with sadness that I blog today as my next door neighbour, Teresa, passed away yesterday after a hard fought battle with cancer. I really didn't know her all that well, to be honest, but what I do know is that she was an amazing woman. She was one of those people in this world who are genuinely good and nice, kind and loving. It is nice to be reminded that those sort of people still exist, and here she lived right next door! Despite what she had been handed, she was always cheerful and smiling. She carried herself with grace and poise, and was made of a strength very few are. As a true testament to her character - the soul of a being so kind and strong - is the tremendous support the community is offering her family as they deal with her death. She honestly touched the entire community, it seems, in one way or another. We all knew her, in some capacity. We all have only good to say of her, which is astounding. She had such a joyous spirit in her; she was always smiling and cheerful, even when fighting for life.

I can't even begin to imagine what her daughters are feeling - I have never for one moment considered life without my mom, who is very close in age to Teresa. I do know they are going to be amazing women, thanks in large part to their mom. And I know their mom will live on in them. I see her in each of them. They are each of them thoughtful, each of them optimistic, each strong and confident.

Her passing definitely serves as a reminder that life is too short. We really do need to make the best of it while we are here. Together. My husband and I fight far too often. We need to sit back and enjoy one another's company, enjoy growing old together, with our children. I stress about a lot of things. I need to relax. I have little patience and I tend to lose my cool too easily. I yell. I need to take things in stride and breathe. In honour of Teresa, I am going to make a concerted effort to improve daily, if only by a small margin.

Happy New Year 2010

So, I have yet to remedy my lack of writing online often, and as it's not a priority to make a new year's resolution out of it, I apologize in advance for my (likely) continued sporadic posts. We're almost one week into the new year now and it's been more than one month since my last post. My apologies, I suppose we've been busy!

With... well, lots. We took the boys to have their picture taken with Santa Claus at Johans this year. However, Isaiah refused to sit with Santa and, since Braylon copies everything his older brother does - good or bad, we really didn't get a "good" picture. The boys would not, despite all coercion tactics on our part, sit on his lap, so the best we could do was have them sit in his chair while he kneeled beside them. I was surprised by Braylon, actually, because for quite some time prior to this he would point out the front window constantly and say "ant-a" at the Santa on the front porch of our neighbour's house. He seemed truly fascinated. Though I guess in person Santa is not the same as he is when safe in the distance. Regardless, we got a few pics:

It's a good thing Caleb is too young to know better!

That night I had my "surprise" 30th birthday. Greg had tried very hard to keep it that way, but I am just too clever so I figured out what he was up to long before the night. Oh well, it was still nice of him anyhow! Most of my friends are now out of town, or couldn't come for various reasons, but it was still a good night... even if I did turn 30. I'm still trying to cope!

This is the cake he tried to hide in our cold room - along with chips and pop. Can't put anything past me, Greg!!

Soon after I caught up with some good old friends of mine who weren't able to make it out that night. Some of my high school friends and I still manage to get together at least annually - and usually with hubbies and kids, usually at Christmas time (though we girls vow to do it more often). We tried out the new Tony Roma's in London, and even though it was all-you-can-eat-rib-night (right, Aliesha?!?), we weren't there for the food. I really enjoy catching up with those gals, and even though we really don't see one another often enough, nor do we ever manage to find a time when everyone can make it, it's so great to find time to meet every now and then. Speaking of which, ladies, we're into January and if we plan to keep up with our resolution to make this a monthly affair, we'd better get on planning a night!!

Unfortunately I'm starting to get busy with skating commitments. We had our first competition this month (thankfully one we don't care that much about placing well in, we just like to get the routine out and feedback in response) and, come January, I'll be on the ice a lot. So hopefully I can make it out to a girls night if we manage to organize one!

Much of the rest of the month was devoted to Christmas things. I never did finish my Christmas cards, so I apologize if you didn't receive one this year (or if the one you did receive was late... or, better yet, an addition to last year's). We did do some baking and Christmas crafts with the boys. Isaiah and I attempted to make a gingerbread house (though we cheated and used a kit). I'm really not artistic in the least, so it looks very amateur-ish, but we'll get better! I'd like to get into the traditions my mom kept up with us as kids with my boys, like decorating gingerbread men and baking certain treats, but I'm busy enough managing my day with three boys! Greg said I have to stop baking, anyhow, since neither of us have lost any weight (obviously...)!

Here we are decorating the roof!

Mid-month we hit a low as Greg's Avo Olivia passed away. She was 99 years old, and had recently had a few strokes, so it was in a way expected but nonetheless sad. It was the first time we really had to explain death to Isaiah and answer some of his questions. At first he didn't want her to become an angel to protect him and watch over him, and he didn't understand why we were going to say goodbye to her (at the funeral) when she was already dead. But I don't like dodging these issues, nor do I use kiddie-made-up words with my children, so we dealt with as much as he needed to know.

Then we headed into our busy Christmas visits with family. We celebrated with my side early, on the weekend before Christmas. It allowed my dad and Carol to head to the cottage early, and my brother and sister-in-law to only need to make one trip this way over the holidays. My Christmases are quite small, as I've only one sibling, but still very nice. My grandma, unfortunately, doesn't come back home any more - she stays in Florida. I really wish she would, as my kids are only going to be this young for a short while and it's really what makes Christmas - to see the expression on their faces and the belief in Santa, the magic of Christmas. And I miss her for us too. I know traditions change, but I don't get to see her very often anymore. We did have a great visit with my dad and Carol, James, Leanne and my niece Juliana. My dad and Carol spoil the grandkids like mad, so we were opening presents for a good hour or two, no word of a lie. The boys were very happy with their presents - especially the Thomas table my brother built for their trains. But it's not about the presents, it's about spending time with family. So I was glad to be able to do so with every one this year!

Here are the boys all dressed for dinner at my dad and Carol's house.

Isaiah (the pro now, with four Christmases under his belt) shows Braylon how to open his stocking!

Caleb and Juliana enjoy some floor time together!

Then we were off to my mom's for the Jaeger Christmas the following day. I always enjoy my mom's because it's enjoying the food I grew up with, and she keeps up with traditions I need to adopt with my kids (like the gingerbread men I mentioned before). She got the boys a wood kitchen from a store in Stratford, which they absolutely loved. It was the first gift they opened and they didn't want to bother unwrapping anything else!

The kids are really attached to my mom - Grandma Lina. She said she was sad to miss out on visiting time in a way because she was responsible for cooking, but she still managed to get a few squeezes in! My aunt Sue was there, which was nice, because we used to have strong traditions when it came to Christmas. We always had Christmas Eve dinner at my grandparents and would have trifle for dessert. There would be an almond hidden in the trifle and whoever got the almond won a prize. Well, this year it took until the very last spoonful of trifle to find that almond! Good thing Greg and I bought the Wii so we can work out those extra calories!!

Christmas Eve tradition since I've been with Greg has been to spend the night with the Rebelo side. His family is pretty close, and all of his first cousins are close in age, so we all still manage to gather together. This year we had it at his cousin Nellie's house, which strayed from tradition in that we've always had it at his Tia Gloria's in the past. We didn't stay too late, though, since we wanted the boys to get to sleep before Santa made an appearance!

Here they are in the living room, waiting patiently to open presents. Isaiah really gets along well with the older cousins too, and they're good about letting him play with them. At Avo Olivia's funeral he wasn't sure about Andrew, Nellie's third son, since Andrew and Max were play fighting and he wanted to protect Max, but he had a thing for Andrew this night! Braylon was more cautious and reserved - he didn't stray too far from me all night.

Christmas morning was had at our house. The boys slept in from the night before, and I actually had to wake them up and remind them who had come through the night.

Good morning, sleepy heads!

We ended up spoiling them as well. It's hard not to. We bought little things for each of them but in our attempt to make it fair we always ended up buying more. We didn't end up picking up the motorized car for them, though we will come spring, because it would have been too much. Isaiah got his Barbie (he got 3 actually) and Braylon was happy with everything he received too. Caleb was content to watch the action from his chair, allowing his brothers to open his gifts. It was definitely nice not to have to rush around and to simply enjoy Christmas morning at home with the boys. I will have to be careful though next year to wrap gifts from Santa with only one kind of paper and Greg will have to let me get shopping done without the kids in tow since although he still believed Santa brought him the toys Isaiah also knew I'd bought them at the store. Good thing he's only just 3!

That afternoon we had Christmas with the Faria families. The boys enjoyed playing with Justin and Rachelle and although they went to bed late again that night, they slept well once asleep because they were tuckered out. That's the one tough thing about Christmas - it completely messes with our usual daily routine and so sleep is altered significantly. We bought the Faria kids Band Hero for Christmas, so of course we opened it up and played much of the evening.

Our final Christmas was with Isaiah's godparents, our friends Candice and Altin. We are now godparents too, though not officially, to their daughter, Isabella. We went out to eat (and Isaiah passed out in the middle of dinner, so he had a sleep with his head on the table) before visiting with them. Bella is growing like crazy - we hadn't seen her for three weeks by this time and, at this age, they change daily! Everyone says Caleb is so much bigger now too, but I don't see it when I'm with him every day.

The rest of the month was devoted to work around the house. I got Christmas packed up and put away while Greg spent quite a few days framing the basement with his dad's help. It's almost done now, save for a few tricky spots. Then we'll have to plan out electrical before drywalling can begin. He's also been busy snowblowing lately as, with the turn of the new year, Strathroy has been hit hard with squalls. It has been nice for the boys, though, since they've been dying to go outside in the snow (which we didn't have up until about a week ago). Braylon is very cautious, as is his nature, and not much of a fan of the wind chill, but Isaiah loves being outdoors. Mateo came over to play with them while Greg was framing one day, and they've since been tobagganing at Weldon Park in Arva too. Here's hoping we can enjoy more days like this without treacherous weather now that Greg is back to work.

So, I've got two of three awake now (as it's taken me much of the afternoon to post this), and so I must sign off. Off to yoga soon anyhow!

Honest and Candid

Sometimes I wish I could get honest and candid with my writing on here sometimes, but I'm reluctant to turn this into more of an online diary. I know I'd regret many of the things I'd be honest and candid about, as much of what irks me or frustrates me - and fuels the want to vent - are also things that I just need to work through independently. They're likely best left unsaid for various reasons as well. And I'm not sure why sometimes there are moments that there seem to be more things that irk me than not, but unless I decide otherwise, I'll just have to work them out in my head for now.

I do want to mention two peculiar things that came about since my last post:

1) Isaiah pooped in the potty!! (I can't believe that is something I'm so proud to note, but it's progress. He totally didn't mean to, it was happening before he knew it, but he was so happy that we reacted so positively that I'm hoping it happens again soon! Oh that I have to go through potty training two more times...)

2) After claiming my boys to be amazing (which they still are), two of them had two consecutive bad days immediately following that post. I should have knocked on wood.

Anyhow, back to my distraction - my boys - from the things that are troubling me! Must be since I'm soon to turn 30... yikes! I'll blog about THAT later!!